Beyond These Words

Why?

Ashley — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 21:48:28 +0000

Why do we sing with our souls on display
Knowing they can’t understand?
Why do we cry, broken hearts showing through
Sure they won’t offer a shoulder or hand?
Why do we give when we know they will take it all
Never intending to give of themselves?
Why do we love those who never can love us
Even though loving them we lose ourselves?
We’ve always been told that the heart is a mystery
It does things for reasons that reason won’t give
But if we never learn to follow its leading
A lifetime will go by and we’ll never have lived.

In All Seasons

Ashley — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 21:46:41 +0000

In darkness, all’s impossible
In light we’re indestructible
In strength we think we’re powerful
In weakness we give up
In sadness life is worthless
In joy it’s worth the loss
In success we thank God often
In failure, we loathe the cost
In storm we cry out for a Savior
In tranquility push Him away
In abundance we praise Him for blessings
In famine refuse to pray

In all seasons, there are new reasons
To surrender and give up the fight
Yet in all seasons, they are new reasons
That force us to turn to the Light
And when we turn to Him, His promise
Becomes clearer and dearer again
In all seasons I will be with you
And guide you ’til all seasons end
Until all time stops, every year has gone by
Until all the waters on earth have gone dry
Until I have carried you home beyond the sky
Where forever-I will be with you

Time Begins Unrevealing

Ashley — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 21:43:00 +0000

Here is a beauty that faded with time
A sweet, fragrant blossom that fell from the vine
A beauty left hidden by layers of pain
A treasure kept hidden beneath years of shame

Here is a shadow of a life once lived
Of a storybook page now made just a blank
Of a donor that’s given more than it could give
A millionaire-not a cent left in the bank

Here is the aged, the rejected, the weak
That used to be young and accepted and strong
Here is the king, a mere peasant! yet worse
Here is the right that used to be wrong

Here is time.
Here are the hands of the clock
That silently watch never warning about
The things that will change after tick, after tock
After all of the lights in our lives have gone out

Logic

Ashley — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 21:40:57 +0000

I’m trying to hold on to you
But I’m dying to let go
There’s gotta be something I have to do
To pay back what I owe
I want this all to make sense in my mind
But nothing does
Can’t wrap my mind around unconditional love
Logic cannot stretch that far
Logic, my permanent scar
Since I was born I’ve been this way
Too smart to understand
Why my life never turns out
Exactly how I planned
And things that are beyond me
I assume aren’t worth the reach
Shame that faith is something
Those philosophers can’t teach
Logic cannot stretch that far
Logic, my permanent scar
Logic froze my heart until it shattered with one blow
Logic stole the life I could have had if I let go
Logic promised everything and nothing’s all I have to show
For life
Oh Jesus, I’m an empty soul
I need Your love to fill this hole
This blackness that’s inside of me
This cage with bars that I can’t see
Just hold me in the palm of Your hand
And give me the faith that I can’t understand
I’m only a man that has worked way too hard
To hold onto a treasure
I have found is just a scar
Permanent as pencil lead
When erased with precious blood

Houdini’s Hurse

Ashley — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 21:38:11 +0000

Running
Running
Running from my past
I wish I could run faster
But it’s catching up with me
Running
Running
Running from my pain
I know that it is gaining on me
But it’s so hard to see
Ghosts in the night
So I round the bend
Hoping they won’t find me in the dark
I hold my breath
Praying that the beating of my heart
Won’t give me away

Silent footsteps thumping up the stair
Faces in the mirror not really there
Mute voices yelling out my name
Reminding me of all the shame
I feel
My fears have finally found me
And my ghosts are far from dead
I keep running
Running
But I can’t escape
The memories in my head

Who cares if I’m Houdini?
There are some chains I can’t break
Who cares if I guzzled a dozen martinis?
Alcohol can’t dull this pain
No matter who I am
There are escapes we try to make
That NO ONE CAN
ALONE
I need a hand
‘Cause I just can’t
I can’t escape
The memories in my head

Buried alive in a prison
With no lock, no key, no door
Just a maze of walls and memories
I can’t face anymore
Houdini’s tricks are fiddlesticks
When death calls out his name
And all your plans of great escape
Will be consumed by that same flame
Running
Running
A waste of time
A waste of rhyme

Breaking

Ashley — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 21:15:57 +0000

Night falls and the moon’s so bright
Far above me it illuminates the sky
As I lie awake, you’re tearing me apart
Like a butcher’s knife filleting my heart
So I close my eyes pulling up the covers
Trying not to realize I’ll never be like all the others
Who don’t feel any pain
And everything is just a game

Night falls and I’m searching every darkened corner
For a reason to go on
Life calls and I’m begging not to have to answer
Hiding’s so much easier than moving on

Where’d you go? Are you up there too?
And if you are than why does the moon have to hide you?
No one tucks me into bed
I hear your voice inside my head
Everyone tells me you’re dead
It can’t be true

I try to pray but I can’t hear the answer
Will I never feel safe again?
Oh, and why does summer turn into winter?
Why can’t things stay the way they’ve always been?

Night falls and I’m searching every darkened corner
For a reason to go on
Life calls and I’m begging not to have to answer
Hiding’s so much easier than moving on

The morning light peeks in my window
The silence of the night becomes the bird’s song

Dawn breaks and I’m basking in the sunshine
While a warm breeze fills my lungs
My bleeding heart wakes and I realize it’s true
Life will come back to you if you hold on
Hold on ‘til the dawn

When night falls and the moon’s so bright
Far above you it illuminates the sky
And you close your eyes pulling up the covers
Trying not to realize you can’t be like all the others
Who don’t feel any pain
Everything they know’s a game

Wait until the dawn breaks and you’re basking in the sunshine
A warm breeze will fill your lungs
Your bleeding heart will wake and you’ll realize it’s true
Life will come back to you if you hold on
Life will come back to you
Just hold on

My Home

Ashley — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 21:13:42 +0000

Home is not a place
Where everything is always safe
Where peace and harmony unite
And sorrow leaves no trace
Where changing seasons bring no change
Where doubt and fear can’t come
Where all of life is black and white
And each day warmed by sun

Home is not a house
Full of rooms and beds and stairs
With a welcome mat outside the door
White picket fence, porch chair
Not a town and not an address
Not a country, not the world

Home is not a single thought
Nor described in just one word

Home is where our heart knocks
And a friend opens the door
Home is finding happiness
We’ve never found before
Home is tiny footsteps
Thumping up and down the hall
Home is an open window
Where we once found a brick wall
Home is the voice of family
Whispering love in hurting ears
Home is a ready shoulder
On which we cry our tears
Home is anywhere we leave a mark
On a total stranger’s heart
Home is watching someone smile a smile
In which we had some part
Home is a honey-do list
That is never honey-done
Home is fighting fierce and losing
But considering it fun
Home is love and hate together
Joy and sorrow, peace and war
Gain and loss, success and failure
Taking less and giving more

Some say they hate to leave it
Some have searched for it in vain
Some have found it and refused it
Never finding it again

I’ve found home in many places
Many faces, many sounds
I’ve found home in many hearts
Many friends in many towns
I’ve found home but I still wait to
Reach that home I’ll love the best
In the arms of my Lord Jesus
Where I’ll find a perfect rest

The Way, The Truth, The Life

Ashley — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 21:10:46 +0000

Who wants to know
Who wants to know
The way, the way
Well, here he is reaching out
To rescue you from storms of doubt
Yeah you know Him but you’re lost
‘Cause you aren’t resting in the cross
And all it means
Who wants to know
Who wants to know
The truth, the truth
Well, here it is black and white
Walk by faith not by sight
Life is one day at a time
He’s got a reason and rhyme
For everything
Who wants to know
Who wants to know
The life, the life
Well, here it is here and now
Greatest life that can be found
Eternal bliss and present peace
And countless blessings more than these
We seem to forget

The way, the truth, the life
Is all that we will ever need
He has opened wide the door to Heaven
And he’s getting ready to leave
To come and take us all away
To a land of perfect day
Where we no tear will dim our eyes
Can’t you see him in the skies
The trumpet’s waiting to blow
And tell us it’s time to go

Who’s ready
Who’s ready
To go, to go home
The way, the truth, the life
He holds us safe in his hand
Creator of the Universe
Is working out His plan
We may not see it, but He’s the way and He will guide
We may not believe it, but He’s the truth and cannot lie
We may think we’ve died inside, but He’s life and won’t let us die
Eternally we’re safe, Eternally we sing
The way, the truth, the life
He is everything

Rubble Rose

Ashley — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 17:27:50 +0000

Hand in hand with innocence
We feel how great our influence
Its purity is evidence
Of more than what we’re told
The budding rose with fragrance sweet
One instant crushed by wayward feet
Its youthful beauty too soon greets
The filth of earth and death of cold
Wildflowers grow beside the rose
They give her strength as up she grows
And when she blooms the world will know
How strong this rose can be
But, weeds– they stunt the rose’s start
They turn her to a bleeding heart
And this pure rose is torn apart
By ruthless jealousy
A budding rose, a toddling child
Fragile, beautiful and mild
Waiting to be free and wild
And never either one
For freedom, every wild one knows
Comes from the pureness of a rose
And every wayward seed that grows
Defiles when it has done
Some seeds seem harmless, thoughtless words
Muttered, uttered, maybe slurred
But e’en the purest rose that heard
Is stunted by the sound
And when the sunlight’s blocked by screens
Water poured out through machines
Pumping from polluted streams
Roots lie above the ground
One shake, one storm, and petals fall
Soon the fierce wind shall take them all
What’s left of this last rose we’ll call
The name of Rubble Rose
“Rubble Rose, we wish we knew
All the seeds that grew near you
But we can’t cut weeds that grew
And turned you to rubble rose”
While Rubble blew over the asphalt field
All the wounds that never healed
Hurt we thought you couldn’t even feel
Proved how much you could hold.
Hand in hand with innocence
We feel how great our influence.
Her purity is evidence
Of more than what we’re told.

You Don’t Have To Run

Ashley — Tue, 04 May 2010 23:50:08 +0000

Where are you headed, may I ask
And why are you running so fast?
What are you trying to escape
Love? Pain? Failure? Shame?

Have you ever heard of One
Who loves you now- no matter what you’ve done?
Do you know He died for you
And He’s reaching out, reaching for you?

You don’t have to run
You don’t have to hide
You are safe by His side
He won’t let you down
He will hold you near
His great love will take away your fear
You don’t have to run away
Jesus is reaching out today

You’re not too far gone
No matter what you’ve done
You don’t have to run

Why are our lives so hard to live?
Why must people take so much more than they give?
This world’s heading down a dangerous road
To whom can we turn? Where can we go?

We don’t have to run
We don’t have to hide
We are safe by His side
He won’t let us down
He will hold us near
His great love will take away our fear
We don’t have to run away
Jesus is crying out for us today

We’re not too far gone
No matter what we’ve done
We don’t have to run

We don’t have to run
He’ll give us strength to stand
We don’t have to hide
We’re sheltered in His mighty hand
We don’t have to give up
His own life’s blood He gave
He’s victor over the grave
He has power to SAVE

We don’t have to run
We don’t have to hide
We are safe by His side
He won’t let us down
He will hold us near
His great love will take away our fear
We don’t have to run.